When you become a caretaker there’s a lot of very important decisions that have to be made.
Medical decisions, legal decisions, social decisions, economic decisions. They have to be done, and promptly.
Having to constantly make decisions is mentally tasking and draining.
You will eventually get to a point where just the thought of having to make another decision makes you feel quite literally exhausted.
One way to stave off this sense of exhaustion is to make the small decisions once.
For example: There were times we decided it was going to be easier to get food to go, rather than figure out what to cook for dinner and then take the time to actually cook dinner. I knew exactly what I was ordering for everyone. I know the order Mom liked. I knew the order that Wheels liked. And I had my own favorite order. No decision to be made Everyone knew what they were getting and there were no complaints.
Another example was finding something to watch on TV.
Rather than channel surfing, hoping to find something Wheels would be interested in, we had default choices. If Saturday and the local college team was playing football that’s what we put on. Otherwise it was the History Channel for American Pickers, Discovery for Gold Rush (Parker was a favorite!), MotorTrend for just about any of their shows, because engines were his thing. Basically shows with no real plot, but enough action to hold attention. Or movies he had seen before that had easy to follow plots– with surprising frequency, if Back to the Future movies were airing, he would watch with full attention.
People are going to say this is just common sense.
Keep in mind being a caretaker and having to control very serious situations is immensely stressful. And basic common sense breaks down under stress. Taking a moment to work out some of the more basic decisions — the ones that you’re going to encounter most often– is a strategy to avoid situations that create more stress.
One example is grocery shopping: You will have a limited amount of time for grocery shopping. Know what frozen dinners or quick fix meals you can enjoy on an extra stressful day and keep them on hand. Knowing the basic groceries you will use in the coming week and deciding to get just those It’s a lot simpler than trying to workout coupons and sales. Knowing what brand of cleaning and other supplies you use allows you to keep the necessities always on hand. Focus on the basics and get only the brands and quantities you need. Repeat as needed.
I also suggest that for most used groceries or supplies and orders from favorite restaurants, It’s worth writing that down and storing it in some place where it’s easy to share . So. if you do get an offer of help you have an opportunity to seize it and say “yeah, I’m not gonna have time to cook tonight. Mcdonald’s sounds great. Here’s what we typically order . I’ll pay you back when you get here , thank you.” Or ” yeah, I really need to stock up on supplies. This is normally what I get. If you could pick up some ___ that would be great “.
We can’t foresee every scenario.
But you can prepare for the situations you encounter the most, and hedge your bets about scary possible scenarios that keep you awake at night.
—————Justin Vance——————-